Note: this post is designed not to cause offence. It is designed to document my Aspergers in that I sometimes find social situations difficult.
One of the main problems I found with being on spectrum is…. friendships. Enough so that I’ve now coined the phrase “The friendship problem”, the title of this post. (That could even be the title of my own auto-biography.)
You see, I find it difficult to ‘read’ people-if they are being genuine, sarcastic, sincere. As I get older, I have gotten better at it-but I do sometimes ‘fall down’ due to this trait. I even wrote about it last year with the post “Wanted: one friend.”
This trait also does not always mean I can make a connection. The thing is, at schools/institutions, I was more than likely to talk to teachers, or ‘adults’, in comparison to the people my own age. I would rather be in a library, reading, than sat outside of the circle. I would rather be off, creating something like a magazine, than be mocked or ignored. I would be interviewing people like Anastacia, reviewing Queen Extravaganza, and still have completed my homework for the deadline. (Seems alright for a trainee journalist, right?)
(But it put me to an advantage, later on, such as at networking events, meeting interviewees, etc. Since the transition from leaving college, I often feel very lonely, having not going to University. )
So, my goal this year: make a friend, and know what “friend” means.
(And by friend: I would love to experience that one particular friendship, to have a best friend, to go out to films, shopping..)
When I was diagnosed with Aspergers, it was noted that I did not necessarily know what is or how to define, a friend-it was mainly a list of negatives that allowed me to describe what a friend is. “They are not someone who laughs at you, who mocks you”..
That inability to define did lead to a few incidents.
I know that I am also at fault-in that, from my inability to read a situation, and not conforming to standards seen as normal at certain ages lead to an accumulation of frustration. But, the thing is, I did learn; if someone is being horrible about “her, the one who is on spectrum”, then… they aren’t your friend.
So: I will be looking out for clubs, going to one of the city girl network meet ups, events, etc.