Why would anyone wish to be clumsy?

Ballet. I don’t remember who first introduced me; it could have come from the Argos ‘Bella Ballerina’ kit-a Christmas gift-or ‘the magic of Ballet’ TV advert, and a magazine subscription, later on.
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I was thinking back to this recently, having not danced for a long time; by any means, I am not a dancer. I also dislike the idea of going to a club and becoming dishevelled-something that I still have yet to do. I like the idea of ‘getting lost’ in music, but steps are hard to follow. I’ve been laughed at a room of people for trying to do so.
I’m clumsy. . I wish that there was also possibly a way to help me with this.
I have been mocked for this, and people usually fuss over me; whether it’s walking into a bookshelf or pulling books down in a crash (I did this the last day at college; my teacher was concerned), or falling off a bus (due to loosing balance due to somebody sticking a leg out to trip me), I am clumsy. I’m also not very strong.
In any fictional book about Aspergers, the autistic character will probably be clumsy; they stir, bump into things, fall over. I thin that this trait is very relevant; a lot of people who I’ve met, who are on Spectrum, are either clumsy, or incredibly flexible, often too much so for their own good. I don’t know if it’s a spectrum trait, though.. (Does anyone know? Please comment if you do!)
I have fallen down stairs, walked into doors, clunked cutlery, smashed bowls, bruised myself, torn book covers and pages, ripped endless pairs of tights, tripped over a chair leg..
But I get angry at myself as a result; if I’m buy myself, I scream, shout, sob. I feel often like I need to hit a pillow-great tactic to get rid of anger-and to stop me breaking anything more, or hurting myself. Falling over a lot hurts me. Walking into doors leaves me with bruises, which hurt. Being clumsy, in all, hurts.
I have little awareness of my body, it seems.
I wish that there was a way to help correct this; I currently use foot sliders, as my feet have a tendency to turn inwards, which they try to help stop. Pilates did help for a while-in adding to ‘core strength’-but it felt at times like I wasn’t going anywhere.

What next?

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2 Comments

  1. November 10, 2017 / 2:23 pm

    I’m clumsy too…even the way I walk. I’m constantly dropping things, breaking things (including expensive cell phones) and my coordination is terrible. I wouldn’t even dare attempt ballet or anything requiring me to be ‘elegant and graceful’ It’s actually a serious problem that impacts my ability to function

  2. January 7, 2018 / 1:34 am

    I’m clumsy and hyper flexible. Apparently this means that my clumsiness is enhanced by my outstanding ability to over balance. I also have very little awareness of my body or spatial awareness. My sister regularly takes my arm and guides me through the streets or laughs at me when I walk into people without even noticing. As a teen I used to be horribly aware of my differences to other people but these days I embrace it. Autism can’t be changed or undone so I’ve learned to laugh at myself and accept it. Some people find it endearing. If you are looking for a solution though I would recommend things like pilates or yoga, I find they help with the balance (at least when I attend regularly). Alternatively try a sport like swimming where no one will notice if you have no balance.

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