Aspergers and ‘touching’.

Note: before anyone reads this, please note that I am not using the word ‘touching’ in a sexual way. 

I don’t like touching.

Don’t get me wrong, I do hugs when the situation calls for it-like when a relative is sad, saying goodbye at some family social function, if I’m sad, etc.

Yet, I don’t like touching when it’s not needed; this is largely just my preference-and a characteristic of having Aspergers-but also because I don’t always know the social implications, people have called me weird before, etc. But I should have control of this, right?

If someone accidentally touches me, say on a train when it’s crowded, I’m aware that it’s not their fault; after all, we’re all in the train, packed back to back, with very little room to move. I may not like it, but I’m not angry at the person for doing so. I’m not going to ask them to stop touching me, clearly. (Unless, of course, they were deliberately pushing me-that’s very different.) I’m not going to be angry at someone who grabs me, to stop themselves falling. I’m not going to be angry at someone who shakes me hand, because social conventions demand it. I’m not going to be angry at someone who brushes past me.

But..

Pleased not touch me deliberately without me saying that it’s okay. That’s going to make me either cross or sad-because it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

Various people have been offended at this; when I ask them to stop touching me-usually after they continually do so-they sometimes get cross at “stop touching me!” I do wonder if I’m right in writing/feeling this, to be honest-because I wonder if it’s me being nasty, or me just having Aspergers, and therefore apparently seeing the worse in people.

In terms of hypersensitivity, it makes me feel bad; you can read a related post here. But I can feel the hair, the flaky skin, the sweat. I don’t like that… I don’t wish to share in that. The best comparison I can think of is that I only wear some fabrics-other garments, say, with lots of sequins, put my skin on edge.

My authority in this should not be demeaned because I have Aspergers.

Untitled design

To read a similar post, click here. 

 

 

2 thoughts on “Aspergers and ‘touching’.

  1. Discount Style Guru says:

    I can totally relate to this post. I have often found myself in situations where someone has invaded my personal space and tried to touch me. It leaves me feeling very irate and I often end up arguing with them. So your not alone, great post

    Like

  2. Savannah says:

    I’m an yet to be diagnosed aspie and I can relate to this. I don’t mind hugs from someone if I trust them, but I’m not keen on being touched either and I’m often easily startled when people do it. I don’t like people getting close to me, period. It makes my skin crawl.

    Like

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