On this blog, I often write about my life, and how it has been impacted by being diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. Nowadays, I’m quite happy with it; it’s just a part of me what makes me ‘me’. But I really use to dislike myself because of it. For this post, I wanted to write a little bit about why I really use to dislike having this condition.
The thing that gets me is that labels can be used well; it gives you the reason as to why you need help in education. But it seemingly gives legitimation for people to be unkind; behind my back, there was apparently ‘bitch fests’ about my inability to get a joke. I would be excluded from social outings, when the very idea of them would be flouted in front of my face. I’d largely be left lonely. And that happened pretty much throughout the time in education.
Communication is also really difficult, such as with body language; I don’t know if I’ve weirded you out with my eye contact, or if you’re thinking of me as being rude because I lack it. I don’t know what an acceptable distance would be either; I find it funny now that various individuals thought I was being rude, by standing a meter away from them. I just wished not to offend!
The way that my Autism has been reacted to previously really made me dislike myself; this even dated back prior to my diagnosis. I would have loved a constant friend, and to be included in social invites.
Asperger’s is something that has allowed me to be unique, even original; I have come across one other peer who had a blog, which was regarded as a hobby. It allowed me to meet Anastacia, Brian May, Derren Brown… And I don’t regret it any more.