Autism is not the problem.

Good morning-
For this post, I wished to explain my view on something. This has come up in conversation recently-and to be honest, it did upset me, just a little bit.

“Autism is not a problem. It does not need to be cured. It does not need to be altered. It does not need to be edited, changed, improved upon.” Sounds a simple manifesto, almost a mantra, doesn’t it? It’s what I try to stick to, and talk about-be it through my blog, to if people ask me questions, etc.
Since being diagnosed in January 2015-seems a long time ago, doesn’t it?-there has been some mixed reactions. People are seemingly reluctant to be my friend anymore, in spite of the fact I haven’t changed, not really. For others, it slotted into place a puzzle that had finally been solved. To others, it ostensibly gave them the excuse, even apparent legitimacy (!) to be horrible to me. Others haven’t cared in the slightest-I’m still just plain Lydia to them.
I do struggle sometimes, I’ll freely admit it. I cannot read the emotions that anyone’s face plays out daily, neither can I read a social situation. I cannot make friends very easily. I do not keep a friendship very easily. People my own age are so hard to talk to at the best of times. My interests can be perceived as obsessive, boring, even dull and mundane. Other people sometimes do not know how to talk to me. I have problems with my environment-such as loud noises, some sensations, etc. Keep organised can be an issue. Eye contact doesn’t always work.
But I’m sick of having to see my Aspergers as ‘the problem’, ‘the hindrance’, ‘a trouble’, ‘weakness’.
Sometimes it seems that society isn’t as accepting-just some pockets, tiny areas. And I’m tired of having to care what they think about me. It’s moments when I’m told by people that they don’t careΒ is when I feel happy, at peace almost, with my ASD. They accept me in spite of what others see as something terrible.
The problem is that Autism is seen as a weakness, when its hallmarks have the potential to give us better abilities, thus allowing us to achieve greater things.
(This is a paragraph merely meant to illustrate, not to boast, to prove my point.) By the age of eighteen, I have built this blog-which I regard as being something to be proud of, interviewed Anastacia, met Queen Extravaganza and interviewed them, seen Derren Brown give a book talk, spoken at Portcullis house, become a Columnist, made a front cover of my local magazine, met Brian May (he’s my hero!), and made friends along the way. I’m also still getting my qualifications also.
For anyone reading this who has been recently diagnosed, or thinks that they may be in the spectrum; please do not be afraid. Autism is not something scary, devilish, or to be feared. We should embrace it, use it as an advantage. We are capable of achieving far more than we can know, simply by utilising these traits that put us on the Doctor’s spectrum of people. We are people, and we care as much as anyone else. Hold your head up high, and tell yourself daily, “these are the people that are going to watch me run. I can do anything I wish, and I have nothing to loose”.
Lydia
XO

***

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34 Comments

  1. May 28, 2017 / 12:01 pm

    Absolutely Brilliant πŸ’•πŸ’•

    • May 28, 2017 / 12:02 pm

      Thank you! Can’t wait to see the final part of ‘Perfect Boy’ β™₯️

  2. May 29, 2017 / 5:07 pm

    I adore how honest and open you are in this blog post babe, so well written. Love it!πŸŒΈπŸ’—βœ¨
    With love, Alisha Valerie. x

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:11 pm

      Thank you! always being open is the best policy I think..

  3. lolitambonita
    May 29, 2017 / 5:27 pm

    What a great post this is. I cannot believe people can be so naive and ignorant. You only need the people that can accept you for you! x
    Lola Mia

  4. May 29, 2017 / 5:33 pm

    Hi, what a brutally honest post. Good for you embracing it and even using it to your advantage. The end of your post should apply to everyone. I can do anything I wish and have nothing to loose.

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:34 pm

      It should indeed! The problem is is that ASD is seen as something to be scared of-and I’d LOVE to change that!

      • May 29, 2017 / 5:53 pm

        Sadly, it can be, your going the right way in changing people’s preconceptions.

  5. May 29, 2017 / 5:38 pm

    You have a way with word and it’s amazing to see influencers (like you) openly talk about things and the problems they face. It’s inspiring and I am so glad I found your blog.

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:42 pm

      Thank you for commenting… You’ve made my day!

  6. Isabel
    May 29, 2017 / 5:54 pm

    I so agree! I am recently diagnosed at 27. Autism cannot be cured, yet so many of my friends seem to think it is like a flu virus that needs treating as such. I am finding out who my real friends are now I think, which is sad but at the same time I guess it’s best to know.

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:56 pm

      Autism does NOT need a cure! It’s best to know who your friends are, but it does not detract from the fact it can be really lonely. I’m always on Twitter if needed x

  7. May 29, 2017 / 5:55 pm

    I’m so sorry you’ve encountered so many close minded people. It’s just awful that people see any slight difference in behavior and forget that we’re all people underneath. But you’re right — some of those differences do let you achieve so many things! You’ve done a lot already in your life and you’ve got plenty more ahead of you!
    xx
    Emily

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:57 pm

      Everyone commenting this evening is making me tear up! Thank you so so much πŸ˜€

  8. Corinne & Kirsty 🌸 (@corinnekirsty)
    May 29, 2017 / 5:14 pm

    This is such a strong post! I totally agree, the condition is not the issue! The ignorance of people is! When they hear “autism” they just have one degree of the spectrum in mind, which is super reductive while as you said, there are so many different kind! the problem is people not knowing and society not providing the right help! xx corinne

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:16 pm

      Well, I’m glad that there’s a blogger who ‘gets it’; thank you for commenting!

  9. Teaisawishyourheartmakes
    May 29, 2017 / 5:17 pm

    Such an interesting post to read! I completely agree with everything you said. My little brother is autistic and the way people speak to him since he was diagnosed is horrible it shouldn’t be like that at all

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:31 pm

      My favourite tone is the typically slow voice, every syllable made clear… there really is no need!

      • Teaisawishyourheartmakes
        May 29, 2017 / 5:32 pm

        That annoys him so much I don’t know how people can be so rude

        • May 29, 2017 / 5:33 pm

          I think it may be because they’re scared, now there’s a label…

          • Teaisawishyourheartmakes
            May 29, 2017 / 5:38 pm

            Yeah that’s true but still people need to have more respect for others πŸ’–

          • May 29, 2017 / 5:42 pm

            That’ll be a long term goal to achieve!

  10. Sophia Whitham
    May 29, 2017 / 5:27 pm

    Such a good message, you will help so many people with it! My brother is autistic, and since his diagnosis nothing has changed, he will always be the same Sam xx
    Sophia x

    • May 29, 2017 / 5:32 pm

      You made me tear up, just a little bit! ASD doesn’t take away from anyone, it’s what makes them them. What takes away is very petty ignorance…

  11. June 7, 2017 / 7:49 am

    Thank you for your piece. You have a really nice writing voice. I heard a song recently the lyrics of which really resonated with my aspie-ness – “there’s no race, there’s only a runner”. I think it applies so well to autism. All the best xx

  12. July 31, 2017 / 2:13 pm

    Thank you for your inspiring blog post! I work with adults with autism and help them with relationships and social interaction, as well as navigating the neurotypical world safely. Most of my clients express the same problems you indicated and it makes them sad and anxious, and often not willing to try. I’ve written a book of guidelines for teens and young adults with autism: Taking Care of Myself2. If you ever have a chance to check it out, I’d love to know your opinion of it(I think it can be found in most libraries, as well as Amazon and book stores).
    I wish you the best in your relationship struggles. Hang in there!

  13. Atypical Day
    August 23, 2017 / 3:34 pm

    I love this. And the raw honestly oozes from it, perfect. I get ‘didn’t have autism in my day, he wouldn’t be treated any different back then’
    Well that’s why we have so many older ASDer’s who are struggling!
    I like getting your thoughts out there, that’s why I’ve started to attempt to wrote blog about this stuff myself. If you are ever free I’d be grateful if you could have a read.

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