What not to say to people with Aspergers Sydrome. 

Following on from my aspiration to be like Nicole from Thrifty Vintage Fashion, I wanted to write this post. Ever since I was diagnosed as having Aspergers Sydrome, there’s been a few comments which I’m not really sure how to describe. Combining some, I’ve come up with a list of things of what not to say to people with Aspergers Sydrome…
“You were always like Rain Man…”
Aspergers is not just simply characterised by being good with numbers, not having an understanding of anything around us, and seemingly being ‘blank’. Numbers is not necessarily the obsessive interest that characterises this condition. This is a stereotype.
“You’re so obsessional!”
Well, yeah, it’s in the diagnosis…but this has sometimes occurred in two different contexts with me; either if I don’t understand and keep asking questions about it, or if I get really involved in a topic of interest. (Described as ‘Obsessional’. ) But it seems almost like an insult; why disregard something that has the potential to be such an asset? An obsessive interest could be used in terms of career-and skills wise, it could lead to potential to go very far.
“I think my intention was pretty obvious….”
Errrmmm. No it wasn’t. Because We can’t always ‘read’ faces, it’s hard to tell how a social situation can play out. It’s not always obvious to us.


  1. January 24, 2017 / 12:03 pm

    Great post, Lydia. Similiar to your last one I read, I like how in point two you spin around something someone intends as a negative into a potential positive. Point three really stood out to me too, because I don’t just think it’s exclusive to Aspergers. Anyone can misread anyone else, many arguments start because of misunderstanding. Saying something was “Obvious” to someone else, is always a patronising way of communicating and not beneficial to either party.
    Thanks for sharing 🙂

    • January 24, 2017 / 6:44 pm

      Your comment made my day! But about the “obvious intention” comment; I was sort of referencing how this works with theory of mind. I always find it so difficult to communicate with people, just because I can’t ‘read’ what they’re thinking 😂 But gotta be positive-it is the best approach, I think! Thanks for commenting-

      • January 27, 2017 / 9:26 am

        Definitely agree with the positivity! It’s the best way 🙂 And I agree, I think even people who can ‘read’ others still get it wrong. So I can see how it makes communication doubly-difficult

        • January 27, 2017 / 10:11 am

          Always nice to know-I envy neurotypical people on that basis.

  2. January 27, 2017 / 2:38 pm

    Love the blog. The last one is so critical because so much of communication is what isn’t said, rather than what is.

    • January 28, 2017 / 9:14 am

      I completely agree! Somebody who doesn’t understand ASD said this to me recently, which was almost funny-for the sheer silliness behind it!

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